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No-one I know makes house calls in London anyway....
Well... not without texting first!!!
8pm, Sunday 29th February.
Two girls sit wrapped in duvets watching the their third hour of pre-Oscar coverage. The table is littered with orange peel, tissues, Ben and Jerry's phish food containers, Now magazine, Marie Claire, a pot of tea and a glass of red wine.
The door bells rings.
The girls gaze at each other in slight alarm. After a moment of silence the brunette calmly takes a sip of her tea, the blonde shrugs and starts peeling an orange,
The door bell rings again.
Further alarm from the sofa. The orange is put down, heads swivel in the direction of the door. The dark girl raises her eyebrows.
The door bell rings again.
The blonde slides down behind the sofa and crawls stealthily to the hall light switch which she flicks off, she slams the living room door. The brunette calmly turns up the Oscar coverage and pours some more tea.
Later, in the commercial break... they disconnect the door bell,
Oh dear...
11.55pm, Friday 27th February.
Daisy staggers from pub in Clerkenwell with absolute intention of taking beer (well, dry white wine) taxi home. Stumbles slightly and grabs lamp post as pavement in wobbling in alarming earthquake type manner. Boy (who went on a couple of dates a few years ago with Daisy and is now 'friend' in same social circle) comes out of pub and takes Daisy's arm.
Boy: I think we can still get the last tube home
Daisy: Exshellent, thank you Boy... Could you jusht hold onto my arm for a moment, I think the pavement is quite uneven here.
*Insert blank memory here (but was in a group so am sure was quite safe).*
Late, On last Metropolitan line tube.
Boy: Come on Daisy, this is your stop
Daisy drops handbag, and scrambles to pick up purse, lipstick and keys, exiting tube just in time not to get head caught in door
Half way home, sudden sober thought
Daisy: Boy.... Why are you here? You don't live here?
Boy: I'm walking you home.
Daisy Oh, OK - thanks... *thinks* Can we get a pizza?
Boy: Sure, and also I wondered, can I kiss you please?
Shocked pause while Daisy drops handbag.... again.
Daisy: No. no you can't, I've got a boyfriend actshually. You know that *hic* I told you THAT. I think I told EVERYONE *waving handbag in alarming fashion* after my 19th glass of wine..... and I'm not that kind of *hic* girl!
Boy: *Panicked and blushing* Oh my, is that the time?? I err better go and err find a taxi. Bye Daisy...
Daisy: Oh... Bye then
Left alone on dark pavement Daisy waves to Boy half heartedly, looks around her slowly, stumbles slightly and walks the rest of the way home, picking up a large deep fried pizza on the way.
Daisy: *mutters* bloody bastard could have walked me home... *crams pizza into mouth* Still, men who needs them? I can get myshelf home anyway... *takes several attempts to put key in lock and turn it*
At home, very very late
Sits on kitchen floor drinking wine and smoking aimlessly. Attempts to call Jk in New York. Fails (thank god)... Staggers to bed and falls asleep with shoes on.
Poor Boy - I really home he doesn't remember.... or doesn't care...
Quotes from a fucked up year...
Way before I had a blog, I wrote a diary on my laptop. I have been reading through it this afternoon for the first time since I wrote it:
My god, it's terrifying and yet at the time I remember that I thought I was doing great....
Basically it covers that first three months of my year off when I was 25 in 2002...
This is some of the worst of what I wrote...
Surely if you look deeply enough everybody is actually troubled. Certainly people in my life are all fucked up in one way or another.
I have just had a call from Alex asking if I want to go to Paris for supper tomorrow - yes - of course I want to go to Paris tomorrow!!
H has booked us tickets for the Monte Carlo grand prix. We fly on the Sunday morning - watch the race on Sunday, stay up all Sunday night (having found a decent yacht) and then fly home on Monday. Estimated spend: £0.
...one thing led to another and we ended up in China Whites - where I met a rich young Arab bloke who went to Eton. I was a little tipsy and persuaded him to take me for a walk to where the queen mother was lying in state. It was a strange and magical last bit of London for a while. The Mall was closed and silent and I danced down it. People were camping all around Westminster in preparation for the funeral (which was today) and we stopped and talked to them all, we danced with a real pearly king, while someone fiddled the national anthem - incredible movie type scenes forever imprinted in my head! Then we got coffee from a coffee tent (please bear in mind that it was 4am) and went to gaze at the coffin. My companion bowed which I found very touching. The upshot of all of this is that I have a massive hangover, no sleep and a text message from a beautiful rich boy saying 'darling - What a night! It was really like a fairy tale. All of it'.
...what the fuck have I done? I know that in the long run this was good for me. I have to keep on moving and moving until I find what I am looking for. But now I drink alone, I am alone and good god I am lonely tonight.
I always want everything NOW - that is why I sleep with people I shouldn't and drink too much and take drugs and smoke and eat junk food and live off diet food and hangover lard. Well, I blame Cosmopolitan personally because I am having my cake and eating it!!
- it seems that all things need work because whatever drugs that you take or chips that you gamble or men that you sleep with everybody is just searching for a level of acceptance of themselves both from yourself and from other people.
I am like some horrible mid twenties 2002 cliché at the moment and I need to take a really good look at myself. The reason for my hangover was white wine, champagne and cocaine - not a good mixture! Plus I woke up to find a man in my bed who thank god I hadn't slept with but I think only because we had both passed out. Why do I feel the need to invite strangers to my house and get totally fucked out of my head after a television company party?
He turned up at my house! Had fantastic sex and then he fucked off again
How can you love someone this much and let them destroy themselves and become half of what they are?
...but the city is still so big and reminds you so often of your own inadequacies... It mocks you, or feels like it does, everywhere are people who are cleverer, richer, thinner and prettier. There is a pressure all around to be amazing and then more amazing... for some people its professional, others who they know, where they drink, what they wear and for some it's the opposite 'oh god, we're not going to Ling Ling are we? Its SO over priced and full of THE MOST pretentious people....' There is always a pressure to define yourself... maybe a bit like LA - it's a capital of broken dreams and broken hearts. 'I'm a singer in a band', 'I only wear Prada shoes'....
Pre wedding jitters....
I am seeing one of my closest friends tonight who is getting married in 11 days.
Although I will see her again before the wedding (and then obviously at the wedding), this is our last chance for a long and private boozy gossip before she becomes a Mrs...
My goodness, but how wonderful to be that sure...
Brush!!
In the book I am reading it advises that when you enter a room you should say the word 'brush' and then smile - as it makes your smile more genuine and sparkly...
Having practised it all day, so far all I have noticed is a certain amount of alarm from my colleagues. Perhaps I haven't quite gotten it right yet?
Anyway, I don't care because I have new shoes. The excuse for the purchase is a dirty weekend by the seaside on Saturday.
I think they will look great on the floor....
Brush!
Lost - One flatmate
Gained - 2 scarves, one pair shoes, misc. clothing and some coat hangers.
My flatmate moved out over the weekend.
When I checked her room this morning I found that she had left a splendid hoard of brand new, cutting edge stuff for me to dress up in (she was a buyer for a major fashion label).
I'm not saying I feel great, but *admires funky turquoise scarf*, it's helping to ease the pain.....
Brush *smiles*!!
Missing: One boyfriend, slightly used...
Last seen in New York yesterday evening about to board plane with promises of taking lovely blonde girlfriend out for lunch.
Valid excuses for going AWOL: Plane delayed/ missed (likely as phone appears to be dead)
If seen in the London area please return immediately to Daisy Flower.
If not, then... does anyone fancy lunch??