Archives
1st April
It appears that they are busy celebrating April Fools day in my company...
Unless they actually expect me to process the large pile of invoices on my desk.
Nah....
They can't fool me... I'm going for a coffee...
Detox.
1) My Gap jeans are too tight
2) All my stories start with 'I was really pissed and ...'
3) I ate a chocolate eclair for breakfast yesterday...
These are all good reasons to detox... especially as the season of the fat-white-arse in the bikini is almost upon us....
So... I will give up dairy and wheat products, caffeine, anything that is not whole food, e numbers and alcohol...
*Exception to rule* = tomorrow when I have a dinner date at Odin's.
Right....
Breakfast
Mint tea
Banana
Am definitely a virtuous Goddess-type.
Toni, Guy and Daisy
I'm getting my hair cut this lunchtime....
I get my hair cut about once a year, and at all other times I just hack chunks out of it myself when I feel gloomy. It's not as back as it sounds as I am actually rather good at cutting hair, but every 12 months or so I like to let a professional have a go so that I can shift the blame if I'm looking a bit ropey. Plus, I'm growing it and I'm not so good at styling long hair (the old grab a chunk of peroxided hair and hack it off with bacon scissors and then coat it with wax approach isn't as successful as it used to be).
Not sure what I want them to do with it to be honest (as long as they don't try to give me a mullet)... It is quite long... perhaps I should try to keep it that way... But then I did rather like my Meg Ryan meets Freddie Kruger look....
...and I'm losing the will to live as the detox headache starts to kick in....
Think I'll go for a fag (to get some chemicals into my poor banana and mint tea infested body) and a quick flick through Marie Claire for hair-related inspiration....
I'm worth it *flick flick*
I have just had a fan-fucking-tastic haircut....
Its flicky and trendy but not silly uber-trendy hair that will never be recreated in ones bedroom. It can also still be dragged back into a ponytail on emergency days when I wake up at 10 to 9 with it matted to my forehead.....
As ever they took about three peoples worth of hair out with the thinning scissors... I'm sure I should donate it to the needy....
*Detox update*
Vegetable Crisps (I'm sure salt is OK???)
Vegetarian Sushi (yum)
Mango and banana smoothie
Camomile Tea
I can feel the toxins creeping from my body in shame. HA!
Stats...
Time taken to get to work on tube = 25 mins
Time taken to get from foyer of work to my desk = 15 mins
Lifts working in entire building = 1
(I have still never been able to find where they have hidden the stairs...)
*Detox Update* (Last night)
2 x chicken legs
Packet of rice crackers
Handful of dates
2 x plums
2 x herbal tea
Large bowl of green leaf salad with balsamic vinegar
1 hobnob (no wheat or dairy or alcohol or caffeine as far as I could tell)......
Headache = HUGE!
For. The. Love. Of. God!!
OK - so I started my detox because I thought it was a posh way to diet. I didn't expect this though...
My head hurts. I feel really sick. My eyes are slightly blurry... Worse than that though - I look like total and absolute crap... my eyes are halfway down my face!
Basically - I am in cold turkey... but from what? What the hell am I so goddam addicted to that makes me feel this bad when I don't take it for 36 hours....??
Am I a diet coke junkie? Do I had a bizarre addiction to blue cheese? Perhaps my body goes into melt down if it doesn't have its morning bagel?
Is it really good for me to feel this bad? Will I emerge from the detox in a few days all rosy and glowing and looking 17? Or will I just feel and look like total crap until I have a Pain au Chocolate, latte and glass of red wine? Selfish *looks down* doesn't think it will work, but I spoke to Jk and he's all for the idea... then again, he has just taken up gardening....
Oh well, the good news is that I feel so sick that I can't face a cigarette.....
*Detox update*
Banana (1)
Apple juice (1 glass)
Herbal tea (Energising?? Are they fucking joking?)
Skyscraper Heels
I am wearing my bestest shoes today. They are beautiful, curvy, sexy, black stiletto's that look like they once belonged to Marilyn Monroe...
They are, in short, the sort of shoes that your boyfriend wants you to keep on when the lights go off....
Already they have been admired by three separate work colleagues...
The problem is that I have to dash across town at lunch time....
These shoes don't do 'dashing'.... they do strolling, flirting and arse wiggling...
TAXI!