Archives
Daisy *hearts*
Wandering museums where history is written
Shandy in Brighton while wearing my mittens
Eating and drinking and gasping at news
With best friends and old friends - just how can you lose?
When the kids fight, when boss is right... when I'm feeling sad....
I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad...
Cheap food in Balham with far too much red wine
Meeting ex lovers with whom you have called time.
Laughing and joking and talking of yore
How can a girl possibly ask for more?
When the tears come... when you feel glum... when you sing blues
I simply remember my favourite things or possibly buy new shoes!
Dither dither
In my time as a blogger - I have put many important and life changing events into your hands... Yes that is right - I trust the opinion of complete (possibly mad, or not real) strangers, more than I trust myself.
So, as I dither here... my last day in lovely London having had quite literally the time of my life since Friday, do I:
a) Head out to the British Museum to look at old things and buy some teacher type resources in the shop
or
b) Stay on my sofa watching lifestyle and drinking tea??
I'll just put the kettle on while you all decide...
PS - It is raining....
Uh oh...
This year is going absolutely terrifyingly quickly... I have had such a
fantastic time, but have returned home from delicious London to realise
that I start my final school placement in one week...
Time to teach in a new school. A private mixed catholic school no less.
It will be quite a change, I can assure you. Firstly, I will have to
teach girls!! Nasty girls who hold grudges for longer then ten seconds
and sulk when you take the piss out of them... and I will have to pray
and hail Mary, and while I've got nothing against god as, well a god...
I'm not really the high church type...
I had a dream about it last night. I was sitting with the head of
history (who in my dream was short and fat) by the school gates and I
was flirting with him so terribly that even I was mortified for my
dream persona... then the kids arrived as a gaggle of little yobs,
throwing things and shrieking like banshee's. I tried to stop them, but
the dream head if history stopped me by telling me that they didn't
believe in telling the kids what to do in this school. I watched the
mayhem and thought to myself about how I hadn't learned anything about
being a teacher at all, as I ran my fingers up the inside seam of the
fat mans trousers.
No need for anyone to tell me what that dream is all about.
Shades of grey...
Today I have spent the day battling with the absolutely desperate
horror of the Holocaust, which probably explains why I had a hysterical
bout of the giggles I experienced over a somewhat unfunny joke when I
finally reached the student bar in a relief/grief kind of way, and
snorted shandy down my nose.
I am still unsure whether to be more upset over my lack of dignity, or the fact that that I was drinking shandy.
It's probably best that this is my Last Ever Week As A Student (TM)
Next year will be...
Every so often, I have a compulsion to look back at my blog and see
what I was up to this time last year... I don't do it very often
really, but sometimes it's interesting to see where you have been and
how much has changed.
And yesterday evening when I finished my work for the day, I casually
flicked back to last March, to see what happened... It seems espcially
important because I am 2/3's of the way to becoming a teacher... and 4
months off returning to London to start everything again.
I was very happy this time last year, indeed as I read the entry back I
remembered the weekend that I had written about vividly, because it was
the weekend that I fell in love. Anyone who has had a relationship will
always pin point that perfect moment, where you have never been so
happy, where the world is filled with roses and where you are terrified
that everything will slip away. It's the best part on the rollercoaster
of being together... the part where he has never made you cry, where he
has never been late and where you still make him tea in the morning
because you are so excited about the fact that he is there... in your
room - with you.
In a film that I saw on mothers day, one of the characters said that we
need a partner as a witness to our lives, because we need someone who
see's what we do because then we can imagine that it actually might
matter... and so this blog entry is useless really to anyone apart from
the person that was there with me. Of course, with time come doubts
that it was ever that rosy, or that perfect or the way I thought it
was... so, really it stands alone - with no witnesses.... as a moment
past.
But, there was another part to me last year, which doesn't feature in
my blog entry apart from the telling fact that I had taken a sickie
from work... you see apart from my picture perfect romance, I was
actually a fairly unhappy girl. I was bored and I was scared, and I
tried to insulate all of the holes in my life by filling that cracks
with my perfect relationship... Poor Jk - that's one hell of a role to
expect a man to play...
So, while I was happier this time last year, undeniably so - the most
exciting thing for me is that this time I am finally building something
like a concrete base to my life, and this time when I fall in love (and
have that first-couple-of-months-best-bit) there won't be quite so many
gaps for him to fill and so, perhaps we will go the distance.
Multimedia message
A bit of light reading before supper...
Oh piss off.
I'm really not in the mood.
I just want this
and this
and this
and these
