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Just past Midnight. New Years Eve.
I'm holding tight onto the hand of my boy listening to my father make a
speech. It's 40 years since he married my mother you see (give or take
a week).
Happy Ruby New Year.
One of the lessons I give to the younger boys in my classes is about
what is the SAME and what is DIFFERENT. Sometimes I feel that I need
that lesson myself because I am often so busy celebrating things that
have changed in my life that sometimes I don't think I give enough time
to things that have stayed the same.
So, the boy is different, and a wonderful different at that... but my
parents and the people who love us at their New Year party are the
same, the same as they have been my whole life, and the same as they
have been to each other for 40 years.... and they are wonderful. And
Christmas was wonderful and the same as ever it has been (There must
have been a time when I didn't get pissed and fall over on boxing day
surrounded by old school friends - but I honestly don't remember it).
But then you panic- don't you? Because the problem with things that are
the same is that you take them for granted, and although in the tiny
little murky corner in your mind you know that one day your school
friends won't get pissed because they have babies, and one day (god
forbid) you won't go home because there is nobody there... still, at
least you have this year, this second, this moment in time which is as
it always was. Forever.
...and then somebody touches your arm and you turn to them and kiss
them, and your tummy melts and you wonder, for a second, if maybe in 40
years you might not have your own party, and you might not make your
own speech, and you won't remember a time without that person and that
different has become the same.
I have picked up that 20six is going to be different too... well, I
guess thats OK. At home I have a small pile of dusty covered diaries
crammed with teenage angst, university trials and 20 something dreams.
So when 20six changes, then I guess that I will find a new book... open
a new page and turn to a nice clean sheet... because although the SAME
can be wonderful... sometimes DIFFERENT is OK too.
There endeth the lesson.
Old Woman.
Lately, I have become a drinker of sweet sherry. My tipple of preference is Harveys Bristol Cream.
Don't knock until you have tried it, seriously...
I am on my second glass today - but that is because I have just worked
out that I have 119 lessons to plan and teach before half term.
Bugger.
The photocopier ate it.
So, I'm back at school although thanks to late starts, false starts, assemblies and exam leave I am actually as yet to teach any children.
So, instead, I have been battling the ancient photocopier (we have 3 in the whole school - I can remember having one of my own in one of my more bling city jobs...), eating tunnocks caramel bars (yum) and contemplating a diet.
I've given up now and resported to blogging because the photocopier won which directly led to the consumption of the caramel bar (stress) which has in turn led to the failure of my diet in its very early stages. In fact in the planning stages. I will walk to a distant bus stop tonight instead... maybe.
Uh oh... Karma will bite my ass.
Have you ever noticed that its impossible to blog when you are happy?
I don't have a problem with self esteem - I'm thin at the moment - really, I got lots of money for Christmas and so shoes are not to be an issue for a month or two, I love a boy who loves me and we have much fun (thats all you are getting on that one you nosey sods), my kitten loves me, my flatmate pays his rent on time, I'm doing the job I have always wanted and I'm good at it... I have exciting plans afoot like cosy cottages in Cornwall for valentines, and a party weekend in Manchester for my mates birthday. Tonight I am going on a date to the Cinema to watch a film I really want to see... and I will eat popcorn (see point one).
Yet for some reason I'm not buzzing today... must be those bastard kids.
Choca Mocha Perppermint Latte with Sprinkles.
My beloved bought me a coffee maker thingy for Christmas...
Thoughtful and kind because I very much like coffee... and thingys.
Except now, I am pretty sure its trying to kill me...
Gay Paris!
I went to Paris with the boy this weekend. I suddenly felt a bit bored on Friday afternoon, wondered onto Lastminute.com by accident, and the next thing you know its all steak and red wine in a cosy little Bistro.
We saw Mass at Notre Dame, drank vodka flavoured beer on the Champs Elysee and walked over 10 miles... which was lucky as I developed a new found respect for chesse crepes...
All this, and I was home in time to put my beautiful little white kitten to bed last night.
I am lucky lucky lucky!!!
...But don't hate me, I had a back bench rebellion in one of my classes and have to pace an exam hall in my luch hour... plus tonight I have a TWILIGHT INSET... which basically means we all have to sit and stare at a power point presentation about how to teach until 8pm...
Nonsense
It's a fast day today which means that my boys are unusually quiet and we all get to go home at lunch time. Such is the advantage of working in a religious school (the disadvantage of course is that we don't get much time off at Christmas and Easter...).
I seem to be cracking a class that I have really struggled with (the only class to nearly make me cry) and the work that they did today was excellent. My 6th form have an exam next double period (on a fast day? Oh, Miss you are a bitch!!)... Then I have to line up the kids and take them to prayers and then... the day is mine!! Woo
It's my kittens birthday today - he is 6 months old and he is an angel. I love him beyond reason - bless his little furry face...
Wouldn't you?