Shit. I'm ready for my penis now...
I had random souless sex last night with a man I don't give a damn about who sort of knows my flat mate and thus crashed on our sofa on Saturday night where I found him asleep yesterday morning.
In short: We had a fun day. I fancied him. We got drunk. Bang.
Literally.
I was going to wrap this up with pretty words but I wanted to see what it looked like in black and white - stark and nasty.
I doesn't look good does it?
And all the way to work he was planning our next date, getting excited and asking which restaurant I wanted to go to and I was thinking:
'Shut up, I'm knackered and my head hurts and I never want to see you again because I was using you only it doesn't count because I didn't realise that I was doing it until now. You are good looking and everything but you lay floors for a living and I am a millionaires daughter so its not really got a hope in hell of working has it?'
But I said:
'Call me honey it sounds lovely'
And I will turn off my phone, ignore his calls and sit here hating myself for what I have become at 27 years old. A bitch and a slut...
Or in other words, I've turned into a man and I'm ready for my penis now.
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(3.11.03 10:22) I'm astonished, not by your one night stand but by your condescending attitude based on status/class. Please tell me it was a joke! |
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(3.11.03 10:33) Also, as Minister for Women, I have to object to such a stereotyping statement about men as the one you just made. As for the sex - why the hell not. You're young, get out there and enjoy yourself (but be 'careful'). |
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(3.11.03 10:35) I wish it was Anonymuse. One of the main things that I try to do in this blog is be brutally honest about myself even the bits I hate about me (and right now that's pretty much everything). It would be very easy to pretend that this was not my thought process - I wish it wasn't - but unfortunately and truthfully it was exactly what I was thinking. Don't get me wrong - I am a working class girl from Liverpool and I would never judge people badly for being poorer than me or less well educated - I was not being condescending at all - more realistic. I don't think I am 'better' than him (quite the opposite infact) but our different backgrounds are a big reason that I don't think that I can see this boy again. I have tried dating boys who left school at 16 and are hard grafters. But it has never worked because they always feel inferior and I feel embarassed. I wish with all my heart it wasn't so. |
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(3.11.03 10:36) I thought you would object NickD. That bit was kind of a joke...X |
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(3.11.03 10:48) Tough call D, and I can see what you mean, but you shouldn't necessarily tar everyone with the same brush - just because you've had bad experiences with handymen before doesn't mean this would be the same. Then again, he seemed a little *too* keen to me, which has to be a more of a concern (run away, run away)! You were a bit naughty to not tell him straight away though! (p.s I was a bit tongue in cheek too babes. As always.) |
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(3.11.03 10:56) I suppose if it was true love it would conquer all. However you may be writing off people due to background and missing out. I do know what you mean about them feeling intimidated or inferior, however, there may be a guy who is so strong in character and secure in himself that it wouldn't matter what he had or didn't have, just because of how he made you feel. D'you reckon? |
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(3.11.03 10:57) I know this is not completely germane, but that really is a great line TT and you deserve a couple of sweeties for it. Obviously you have been very bad so I will have to deduct one too. But as you practically promised you would never do it again..... |
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(3.11.03 10:58) Oh.... this is hard to explain with a hangover and the ice is so thin that I can hear it cracking underfoot. The experiences I have had haven't been 'bad' they just have worked. One of the following two things always happens: 1) I love the high life and am willing to pay for it. I don't see why having a boyfriend should effect this so I either pay for him (which makes him feel rubbish), let him pay (and he has no money), or leave him at home (bad bad bad). 2) I give up big chunks of my life and pretend it doesn't matter. I am not being true to myself and will start to resent him inevitably. The only time I haven't had this problem was when I was travelling because we were all in the same boat and no-one knew who I was or where I was from... |
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(3.11.03 11:01) Thanks Adam ;o) Anonymuse - unfortunately it was not true love nor will it ever be given the chnace to become true love... He did have a nice chest though... |
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(3.11.03 11:08) If he loved you and was secure in himself he'd alternate between the 3 options (paying for you, you paying for him, or you going out whilst he spent time doing something he wanted). If the guy has nothing to prove and is strong in his character and loves you unconditionally, he'll not be bothered. The previous ones were not the right ones. I realise the odds are that you will probably end up with someone from a same secure financial background, but all I am saying is, like Nick said, you cannot tar a whole group of people with the same brush. It's more about personality and personal security than possessions or positioning. D'you see? |
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(3.11.03 11:10) I also agree the guy from last night did sound too keen by the way. Me bringing up this issue does not mean I am insinuating he was 'the one', just keen to explore the other stuff underlying, that's all. |
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(3.11.03 11:13) Completely and I can't wait to fall in love (are you ready, are you ready for love? Yes I am!).... Anyway rich or poor he just texted (quelle surprise) and spelled night 'nite'. What's that all about? Twat. D x x PS Sleeping with someone who spells night 'nite' is even worse than being that person. Oh god I hate myself. |
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(3.11.03 11:17) It's only for the purpose of text! Everyone does that in texts, like they do 'fone'. The worry would be if he spelled it like that in real writing! LOL @ 'ready for love'- you would make an excellent PA for Elton John Daisy, can you imagine?! |
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(3.11.03 11:18) TT - now I am shocked. Don't you vet these people? |
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(3.11.03 11:21) bwA in future I promise to give all potential boyfriends, suiters and indeed one 'nite' stands full and complete spelling tests before kissing them. Anoymuse - He is a 29 year old man not a 14 year old boy. |
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(3.11.03 11:23) bwA - what? Take them to be neutered and de-fleaed? And D - I'm sure he was a boy until last night when you made him a man 
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(3.11.03 11:26) Last night NickD - hence the terrible hangover and the horror at the fact I have 7 people coming for dinner 'tonite'. Ugh.... |
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(3.11.03 11:28) Why don't you give his number to Elton, I'm sure he'd be interested! |
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(3.11.03 11:29) TT - one can't be too careful. what if he had 'm8s'? Nick - you've got me thinking now. Imagine you slept with someone and found the next day that they had fleas. |
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(3.11.03 11:30) Finale Whilest chatting to one-nite-stand boy it turned out that he had once worked in the bar next to my uncles in Spain which was very freaky. Then it transpired that my uncle had fancied him and tried to take him home.... Oddly enough he had refused even after being plied with much drink... There is something just not right about all this.... |
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(3.11.03 11:31) But Elton would certainly be having a field day! |
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(3.11.03 11:33) Don't worry Daisy, you'll wake up in a couple of minutes and find it is Sunday morning and all this was just a dream... |
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(3.11.03 11:52) If I could turn back time... I wish NickD. I really do. |
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(3.11.03 11:53) That's just randomly bizarre. What did you think about the suggested new job by the way? |
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(3.11.03 12:05) It is isn't it? I would love to work for Elton (I met him once!!!) imagine the flowers I could have on my desk... |
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(3.11.03 12:08) Just One Word: Recidivism Don't do it again. Honestly Chief Whip, you're lucky it wasn't in the Sundays. xxx AB p.s. Your show that you appeared in, am I right to think that's it's on soon. If so, would you like to take a trip to Cuba for the next 3 months? |
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(3.11.03 12:23) I know and I won't.... D x x PS Yes you are right and then I will have no hope of getting a boyfriend... PPS What the hell does your one word mean? |
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(3.11.03 13:11) Do you honestly think anyone cares about you being a 'millionaire's daughter'??? How pathetic. |
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(3.11.03 13:12) recidivism \rih-SID-uh-viz-uhm\, noun: A tendency to lapse into a previous condition or pattern of behavior; especially, a falling back or relapse into prior criminal habits. Though I think your panicking about the show too much. Let's face it, any tw*t that watches that kind of trollop won't be worth dating anyway. And if any do, then they will admire you fine taste, and ability to turn down any man based on what's he's worth (in monetry terms, and therefore think of you as a good catch. Hence dating multi-millionaires, with dashing good looks. Bravo! |
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(3.11.03 13:15) firstandlast - Of course it matters when you descibe the circumstances of the envolving gulf between those who have and those who have not. It's clear from further discussions that D father is also a self-made man, and her desciption of herself as such, shows the love and respect she showers apon him. SO THERE :p |
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(3.11.03 13:18) No - I disagree. There is no need ever to make such pretentious statements about wealth or lack of it. No one cares, it's vulgar and pathetic. Does she want respect for being a millionaire's daughter? Sympathy? Why else mention it? |
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(3.11.03 13:26) Firstandlast I would sincerely hope you do not care that I am a millionaires daughter. I do not write for you to read this in fact I write completely for myself. I don't think any of what was written puts me in a good light at all I would rather none of it had happened. At the end of the day some things that make us very lucky are not a boast but a fact: For example (and I don't have these incase you are wondering): I am a size 10 I am madly in love with a man who loves me back I live in Austalia and surf for a living. I know I am lucky and I'm sorry if my writing offended you but I speak only the truth. D x x PS Thank you A_B - I'll rely on you to tell me when I sound like a pretencious w*nker. |
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(3.11.03 13:34) Oh I will, don't you worry about that. Yet I couldn't help sticking up for you then. It's my duty to protect those under my wing. Besides I felt that as a fact it give the story more gravitas. xxx AB |
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(3.11.03 13:46) Ooooh that last line is harsh on us menfolk.... ...though calling yourself a bitch and a slut is totally over the top as well, so we'll just call it quits. ;-) Don't stress, these things happen. part of life! |
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(3.11.03 14:17) It was tongue in cheek darling... Quits! D x x PS I know... but I keep thinking one day they will stop... |