Forget about your fears tonight.
9 years ago I fell asleep with a boy, who I thought I was in love with and this morning I woke up with him. Oh the irony.
Don't worry though - it's not like that! No, rather the lovely Jay - rock-star and old friend and CD ex-model and even older friend descended on me yesterday and after many gins I fell into bed holding tightly onto Jay. He is quite literally a big rock. As he stroked my hair and kissed my cheeks I felt my old self flooding back into me.
But then I started to realise something odd, that actually I wasn't holding tightly onto him at all, he was holding on to me, as if I were a teddy bear, or a rag doll, or a life-line.
His life has always sounded a riot of 17 year old groupies and blow jobs in the back of a van, but perhaps in reality he is a 27 year old man who has lived that life for far too long. I think he wants something real now. I think perhaps he envys me.
Eventually I struggled to get free (I can't sleep when people touch me) but his bear hug just got tighter and tighter, so I lay all night listening to him breath and wondering where on earth we were all going to end up.
Time to pick my friend up from the airport.
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(23.7.04 12:15) Your holidays are certainly eventful Daise! Maybe next year Jay will launch his own "year of the grown up" |
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(23.7.04 12:30) I can't sleep with anyone holding onto me either. Have an empathy sweetie for sleep depravation. |