The spy who loved me.
My ex-boyfriend (it turns out) was a bit of a twat actually. I've been so nicey nice about him on this blog so far that you may have assumed that we spent the majority of our relationship rolling round in syrup, even after we broke up. But, yesterday, during my life-is-a-Kate-Winslet-style-chocolate-crispy-cake-high I texted him for the first (and last) time since we broke up. My text took ages to compose and was nice and sweet and 'have fun'ish and was designed mainly to achieve closure in my head. It seemed a sensible thing to do before flying home to my new life and incorporated the unfinished business of coupledom: Good luck with this, say hi to blah etc etc...
His response was 'Thanks! Same to you.'
5 months together, 1 totally out of the blue heart break, 3 mini-breaks, many meals out and tons of great sex and I get that message as my goodbye. Nice to know he cared!
What a goddam loser.
Now for writing this entry I feel better and in a moment I will feel better still as I am currently staying my fathers appartment in London, and not only does it have a roof terrace overlooking Selfridges, but it also has electric curtains to play with with a remote control that make me feel a little like Pussy Galore.
So, any one want to come and be my James Bond? All I require from any applicants is the teeniest bit of respect and empathy. Something the last one seems to have lacked a little.
....Oh, and nice hair.
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(29.7.04 18:16) Easy, tiger. He may not have considered it a closure-goodbye thing on his part; or he may have been hurtling along the M25 at the time. However, I'm a little concerned by your last statement. Did he also lack nice hair? If so, good riddance! |
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(29.7.04 18:21) Kate - I know, I know - I have to rant somewhere though - otherwise I'd be some sort of saint-type person. And at least it worked... it was hard to achieve closure when I still had him in my head as a modern day Romeo. I will admit that his hair was OK though. |
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(29.7.04 18:44) sometimes it's better to think of the ex's as twats...it confirms internally that you Did The Right Thing, and also makes the down-time easier to stomach ("ya, i may be alone for now, but at least i'm not around that twat") |
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(29.7.04 18:44) and don't forget to go to the post office! |
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(29.7.04 19:42) Hi Daisy, I feel so nosey, but there you go... Having been on the end of one of those have a nice life texts recently, I can only empathise with JK. I think they are a "girly" invention. There is no correct response to them. In fact it's just like that little scally The Streets says, when he wants to show her how much its hurts. But the little bloke in our head tells us not to, and we end up sounding like twats, which is probably for the best because IMHO any more contact can only be bad news... Or it has been in my case |
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(30.7.04 01:12) *offers lots of empathy, huge amounts of respect, and styles hair* ;-) |
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(30.7.04 10:23) I have to agree with Linesy - guys always try and do the right thing as well, but without losing any self respect, and inadvertently end up doing the completely wrong thing. My ex said that we might get back together - why? Because he thought that was what I wanted to hear, and at the time he was missing the company. And admit it, us women are quite difficult to understand and can be quite manipulative at times, even when we don't mean to be... he probably thought that was the safest response. |
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(30.7.04 11:41) Downtown - the adventure continues. My friend picked it up for me, but now she has flown to Germany for a wedding... suspense is killing me. Linesy and Maisy - I invite you to be as nosey as you want - otherwise I wouldn't write all of this. I guess I am cross because this really was to end of all contact and I have been so nice about being dumped out of the blue that I hoped that I was worth more than a flippant text. Maybe a 'Say hi to your Uncle, hope Spain is good, hopw you sorted you house out and good luck with your course next year' text might have been a wee bit better. This would be saying - there is no way we are getting back together (nor, may I add have I asked to and I don't actually want to. This was the only contact I had made since we split up remember) but I do actually know who you are. PJ - bless you....x |
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(30.7.04 12:04) Oh dear Daisy. But why, oh why, would you say something you thought was important in a text? Fer chris'sakes. It's a trivial medium. But glad you're feeling more feisty, sweetheart. |
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(30.7.04 12:09) Pog - I couldn't speak to him for fear of getting v cross or worse still crying and losing my dignity. I think I am over it, but there's no point in tearing open the nicely papered over wound if I could help it. An email would give me too much space. Remember that episode of friends when Rachel writes Ross an 18 page letter of feelings? Best to limit myself I thought. |
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(30.7.04 12:17) See what you mean, love. But still think you shouldn't have expected much from a text reply. And as Kate pointed out, you don't know where he was at the time ...... |
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(30.7.04 12:24) I know I know. I just felt cross and I also know that he would have really thought about the reply because that's just who he is. Plus, it took him 3 hours to send it. I don't feel cross today though, but I think I needed to at least once. Part of the mourning period me thinks. Today I feel more hungover. |
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(30.7.04 12:27) Oooh! Three hours? That bit's not good. The bad lad. Have a lovely weekend, sweetheart .... and if you're out and about in Soho tomorrow, I'll be the one with big darks shades on staggering around with boys. Which should make me really easy to spot, ay? ;-) |