Daisy

Not famous but frightened

Have you ever had one of those sleepless nights, where you toss and turn and your brain spins round and round in circles...?



Everything becomes frightening and impossible. It's like you have a
fever, or you are on holiday somewhere very hot and you can't afford
air conditioning... You know?



The 2am mean reds.



Suddenly it becomes breathtakingly clear that you are never ever going
to meet the man of your dreams as you lie in bitter restlestness, that
you are going to fail in your career and you are going to die sad and
unfulfilled, with no children... probably in a nasty little house in
the middle of nowhere and have your face eaten by cats.



It's a moment when you need to reach out a hand and feel somebody warm
and real and caring next to you. Someone to grunt 'you're lovely, now
go back to sleep.' or even just to grunt. You need something warm and
solid to hang onto.



And yet, and yet - you grip on to the cold iron of the bedstead in the
grim knowledge that you are all alone. The cats come hissing towards
you.... 'I will probably die tomorrow' you think grimly... and on my
tombstone they will write:

Daisy Flower

Spinster

The cats got her in the end....



So you try to think about Christmas, and your uncles bar in Spain and
maybe dying yor hair the colour of that girl in Emerdale... you
consider calling one of those mental sounding tarot lines advertised in
Marie Claire... or maybe getting some warm milk.



For some reason at this point the bedsheets have wound themselves round
you and you are too hot to think anymore, even though its so cold
outside. But its not cosy, it's sufficating...



...and so you get up and do the only thing you can do... write your blog until sleep takes over once again.

1.2.05 02:33