Common People
Today I went to Kilburn. Never mind the whys and wherefores... it is enough for you to know that I went.
I've never been to Kilburn before, even though it is only a tube stop or two away... this probably doesn't surprise you.
It is worrying for us all to note that Kilburn High Road catch phrase - printed around the area in every available space is
I assure you - this is not true.
However towards the end of my stroll down the road my eyes feel upon a
PRIMARK looking considerably more upmarket that the other shops
surrounding it. I have never before set foot in a primark, but I am
assured by several of my more funky friends that when eccectically
mixed with Topshop and Prada you can look a million dollars for 4.99.
I ventured in, and undaunted by the people who were obviously only
there to exhaust themselves prior to taking a well earned rest
waiting for a kitchen in Argos I did actually find myself pleasently
surprised by what was on offer.
So surprised that I felt it was quite rude mot to take advantage of the
situation by buying 2 tops, 1 jacket, 4 pairs of lace pants, 1 pair
fleece pj's and a dressing gown (all for less than 49p).
Smugly I waited in line and went over the the till... Smugly I handed over my card and waited to be given my booty.
'What the hell is this?' Asked the shop assistent
'Pardon?'
'This card... what the hell is it?'
'It's... erm - a switch card... from my bank.'
'This isn't a bank' she gestured to the name on my card
'I assure you - it is'
'Well, I've never heard of it - what kind of bank is it?'
If you ever ever want to feel socially awkward - I would highly
recommend standing in Primark, in Kilburn with a burning cheeks trying
to explain about your Coutts Card - a private bank...
Even as I tried I felt horribly aware of mayself, sounding like Hugh
Grant, clad in my Nicole Fahri jacket... trying to buy cheap knickers.
Eventually I managed to pursuade the girl to put my card through the reader... it was accepted, and I signed and fled.
As I walked down the road I thought that I would pop into the
'Everything is a Pound' shop in order to buy some cat toys... there is
a place where you pay cash, where you can't go wrong... where you don't
have to declare yourself to get served. I can remain blissfully
anoymous there I thought...
I entered the shop. Finally feeling like I couldn't possibly behave
like a prat in this shop... I'd just quietly buy and mouse and leave.
'How much is this' I asked the man.
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(5.10.05 13:51) When Coutts see that transaction on your account you'll be lucky to remain with them anyway... |
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(5.10.05 13:53) I doubt it - I think the spice girls bank there. |
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(5.10.05 13:59) I'm surprised Coutts don't issue a bank of Scotland debit card for such situations.. |
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(5.10.05 14:01) Or a butler holding a silver tray piled with Primark Vouchers... seriously my cheeks are still burning. My new jacket is fab though. |
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(5.10.05 14:02) What do you get with a private bank? |
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(5.10.05 14:04) You need to keep an average of 5k per month in it or they charge you... Should have been a teacher ;-) |
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(5.10.05 14:05) Outrageous charges are mostly what you get at Coutts. But you do get a 'private banker'. Whatever that is. |
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(5.10.05 14:05) A card that no-one has heard of, unlimited credit (not actually a very good idea), your own personal banker (who used to wear a top hat and tails but sadly as from about 4 years ago now just wears a suit), immediate service on the phone from a real person and an overdraft that could wipe out the debt of a third world country, invitations to afternoon tea and parties... They have saved me a couple of times on my travels too with a well timed phone call... I've never really thought about why I'm with them to be honest.... |
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(5.10.05 14:05) Oh, thats me out of the question as a potential client then... |
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(5.10.05 14:06) Pog - I've never been charged for anything... and Silly - that's not true... Not for me anyway. |
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(5.10.05 14:09) Thats what I was told. |
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(5.10.05 14:12) I guess I am an exception because of my family... I don't know. I don't have a huge amounts of cash to flash around - I am just a lowly teacher... but they do want me to stay with the bank you see... so they are nice to me. |
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(5.10.05 14:12) Really? You must stay well in the black ... My boss ends up paying them silly money. |
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(5.10.05 14:13) Unlimited Credit? Finally I have found the perfect bank. They'll let me transfer my student overdraft, right? ;-) |
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(5.10.05 14:14) I refused the unlimited credit... I have anough worries with my Egg card! |
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(5.10.05 14:15) I think I'm going to make up my own pretend bank too. I will call it Larddsbys. |
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(5.10.05 14:18) Please show us the card immediately... and what free gifts would we get upon joining?? |
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(5.10.05 14:26) Yes, I have to admit, I have now more than exhausted all of my credit limits, so maybe unlimited credit is a bad idea... |
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(5.10.05 14:28) Yes... because at some point you actually have to pay it back... |
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(5.10.05 14:30) I've got a charge card that works like an unlimited credit card. Then one very dark day of the month they take it all back.. |
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(5.10.05 14:32) Yes, I find that to be a most unfortunate aspect of the whole credit system, well, behind the ugly nature of Capital One card design. |
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(5.10.05 14:33) You'd get a cowboy hat and a toy dinosaur. The card is in the shape of a skull and crossbones. |
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(5.10.05 14:35) Yes - credit is a gloomy thing... EB - I'm joining! |
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(5.10.05 14:35) BBN - if I join your bank, will I get to sompare myself to Hugh Grant in any situations? |
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(5.10.05 14:36) Though I should point out that our cash machines only dispense dubloons. |
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(5.10.05 14:50) You have to bluster and look mildly awkward first Queener. EB - where are the cash machines located? |
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(5.10.05 14:54) What kinds of things would one find to ask a personal banker, anyway? I've been thinking for about five minutes and I haven't come up with one. |
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(5.10.05 14:55) They are buried on deserted islands in the caribbean. And there is also one on Tooting Highstreet. |
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(5.10.05 14:55) I can think of some, but I suspect I wouldn't be a member of the bank, or indeed society at large, for much longer. |
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(5.10.05 15:05) Er - Can you transfer this please? How should I invest this please? Can you boost my overdraft please? Oh - I know... How can I make my money WORK FOR ME?? |
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(5.10.05 15:06) I was thinking more.. 'if I spend another penny on snacks, can you fine me, please?' |
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(5.10.05 15:06) To be honest - its a bit like freebies you get given at the station... you are not really sure why you took it, but it was free and there is no point giving it back... |
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(5.10.05 15:39) Glad you have discovered the joys of Primark Daisy - their fleecy Pj's are great. Mine are covered in ladybirds. |
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(5.10.05 16:08) You have to leave this bank immediately! Me and my friends used to take great pleasure in changing 'Coutts' to 'C*nts' (I had several deeply nasty but exceedingly wealthy fellow students at Uni.) One particularly unpleasant specimen tried to organise a credit account at the SU bar.(in those days it didn't take fancy schmantzy switch) As the bar staff laughed she exclaimed "but Father banks with Coutts!" like that would mean anything to the Welsh sheep farmers' son behind the bar... xx |
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(5.10.05 16:14) Or indeed to me... I had never heard of it before they invited me to afternoon tea!! Besides, I can't leave - they send me a free leather diary every year. Princess - it's actually rather good. I am now wearing primark pants even as I type. I'm not going back to Kilburn though... Is there one closer to home? |
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(5.10.05 16:49) Sadly they do seem to be in more pikey areas like Hounslow...but there's a new one in Kingston near me which is HUGE - it's v good! |
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(5.10.05 16:57) Ooohhhh..... I smell an Evie, Laurieloo, Daisy day out... |
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(5.10.05 17:18) Definitely! Kingston is fab for shopping...and there's a lovely little place where we could get panini's for lunch. xxx |
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(5.10.05 20:38) Did they have nice cakes? |
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(7.10.05 16:47) Did somebody mention shopping? |
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(9.10.05 01:33) coutts? poshtastic! |
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(10.10.05 12:35) Minks - not nice enough to remember 7 years later... LL - oh. yes (although I hear Evie is saving money...) |
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(10.10.05 13:09) You went by tube to Kilburn? I thought you lived in West Hampstead! Anyway, suffice to say that I know that particular Primark well. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't get served by the horrible little man who used to take great delight in making personal remarks about the size of clothes being bought (14, which for someone of 5'11" is really not excessive) or smutty comments about shagging when buying pyjamas. I think he's been sacked, as I haven't come across him in a while (thank God...) |
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(10.10.05 13:33) Kilburn IS West Hampstead, isn't it? |
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(10.10.05 14:30) Depends on how up themselves the person you're talking to is, Pog! The deeds to my flat say West Hampstead, but fall out of my front door ad you're pretty much on Kilburn High Road, so it's six of one and half a dozen of the other, really. |
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(10.10.05 15:03) I live in 'xxxx' area of town. walk a couple of minutes and you're in the same area but with village appended to the name, and hundred of thousands appended to the house prices. So, in honour of them, I adjusted my address slightly and worked a village into it. It looked so nice. Until the Royal Mail started writing on my envelopes to remove it.... |
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(10.10.05 15:20) He'd have got away with it if it hadn't been for those pesky postmen! hehehe - don'tcha just love Scooby Doo?
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(10.10.05 15:20) I actually live in real Hampstead, not West Hampstead if we are being tetchy about postcodes... So maybe its further for me? Oh... and Pog - I don't know ehere Kilburn is - of course I took a tube!! |
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(10.10.05 15:26) Ooh, a proper NW3 girl! Yes, you are a bit further, but ridiculously enough it's probably still quicker to walk, as the tube lines don't join up very well. I can walk to Hampstead in about half an hour, and that's going uphill... |
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(10.10.05 15:29) lol @ katja  Does this mean you get to go to Primrose Hill to watch the fireworks? (Yes, I know thats really not all that exciting, but simple things please simple minds!) |
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(10.10.05 15:31) Not this year I don't - I shall be going to a wedding in Farnborough. Deep joy... |
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(10.10.05 15:46) Oh! Such a shame! I have only been once but now every year on fireworks evening I end up thinking "This sucks compared to London" |
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(10.10.05 16:00) We quite often go up to our friends' house at Muswell Hill, whose garden conveniently backs onto Ally Pally - now THAT is an impressive fireworks display... |
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(10.10.05 16:11) Clearly London is over rated. I knew it. *gets slowly consumed with jealousy till it eats him* |
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(10.10.05 16:24) *sadly watches Pete melting into a blog of green goo* |
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(10.10.05 16:26) I do, of course, mean blob. Your blog is quite definitely lilac ;op |
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(10.10.05 16:28) If I wasn't so melted and dead right now, I'd argue that point. *ahem* Pale blue :P |
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(10.10.05 16:46) Yes dear ;op |