Daisy

...and

Suddenly you’re 30.

You’re a little bit more hurt.

Winters seem more frequent than summers and it’s Christmas again.

And you don’t know if you’ve made the right choices because there have been too many and you can’t remember them all.

The Christmas tree looks the same as last year.

Your parents aren’t 'doing' presents this year. But you’re a bridesmaid in a sparkly red dress for someone who has loved you for a long time. And the boy will be there to dance with you.

Your very own perfect Ken doll. Just like you always wanted for Christmas.

But daddy looks tired because he’s been very ill. You worry but your life is far away. Should you move back home maybe? Not home-home but near? Would the boy like it?

Would you?

In the mornings there are cuddles and the boy dances with you in his arms to radio 2. They are strong arms.

And the cat licks your nose.

Your knees feel 30, and you remember your nana telling you that she felt 21. You feel 21. Tired 21. And your hangovers hurt too much to bear. They aren’t funny. MacDonalds doesn’t taste good.

But it’s summer in New Zealand.

It’s always summer somewhere.

4.12.06 13:47