Daisy

Actually...

This year has been a strange one, and quite uppy-downy in a way that befits the final part of my 20’s.

I saw the last New Year in with my then boyfriend, watching my parents celebrate their 40^th wedding anniversary. I will end it with a (different) live in partner who is soon to ask me to marry him (or so I am led to believe).

Between this there has been some upheaval, some soul searching and a fair portion of hurt… but really more than anything there has been a feeling that everything is finally just right.

 

I wish that somebody could have told me the end of this tale when I was younger… not because it would have changed anything, but because I think I would have enjoyed the reality TV, the Vegas wedding and the white powdered Champagne nights a little more knowing where I would finally land.

 

I saw Love Actually last night, with the third boyfriend I have had since it was released. And I realised something important, as the cat curled up on my knee. I realised that I have been on a journey over those three years. An epic journey.

When I first watched the movie I was compared often to the naughty PA who gets an expensive necklace for Christmas, but ultimately spends it alone. This time I was the Portuguese girl… happy, in love and with the world (and Colin Firth) laid out before her wrapped in fairy lights.

 

I envied my parents last year for their obvious love and devotion. Now I finally know that I have the potential for all of that myself. The only person who can fuck it up is me…

 

Sadly, on past form…

7.12.06 14:37