Things...
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: > - Indubitably > - Innovative > - preliminary > - Cinnamon > - Aluminum > THINGS THAT ARE *VERY* DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: > - Specificity > - British Constitution > - Passive-aggressive disorder > - Loquacious Transubstantiate > THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: > - Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. > - Nope, no more beer for me. > - Sorry, but you’re not really my type. > - Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight. > - Oh, I just couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.
As I just said to Laurieloo...
"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they’re afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right boy, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday.... "
Question? (Said in style of Destinys Child)
Does it make it better to have a holiday fling with someone you've already had a fling with? Less slutty maybe?
Just a thought... no reason...
D x x
Because...
I could have loved you once and even said it, But then you went away, a long way away. And when you came back it was too late And love was a forgotten word, remember? Marilyn Monroe
If you get a moment...
read 'how to loose friends and alienate people' by toby young. it's very funny.
True...
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! OPEN TO MEN ONLY! Evening classes form en. Starting this month! Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept am maximum of eight participants each. Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders Round-table discussion. Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video. Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline and support groups. Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum. Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape. Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials. Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation. Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing. Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques. Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered. =================================== CLASSES FOR WOMEN... Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits 4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game 5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet too 6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His 7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First 8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking 9. Communication Skills III: Getting what you Want Without Nagging 10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire 11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up 12. Introduction to Parking 13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space 14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat 15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter 16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption 17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People 18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully 19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His 20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To 21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have 22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women notice 23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together 24. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both 25. TV Remotes: For Men Only