Top Ten Today
At least 3 of the 7 deadly sins.
Sadly none of the exciting ones.
This weekend I have been mainly eating flapjacks lying on the sofa watching extreme makeover and laughing at the ugly people... It turns out that my tears may have been moon-related after all... (I have no idea how this still surprises me). However, there have been small moments in between this time and so...
The ten things I achieved this weekend are:
1. Wrote a lesson on Prince Harry (I can't wait to send the boys letters to the palace and I can't wait for the replies!!!
2. Bought new and exciting multi coloured pens
3. Visited cinema and watched the Aviator (it's Ok... but quite long. You may want to consider taking some supplies with you, and a sleeping bag)
4. Decided on all of the plastic surgery I would have done if I won the lottery
5. Decided (shortly afterwards) that no gain would ever be worth that pain and I will not be having any sugery even when my ship comes in.
6.... apart from a facial peal maybe in about 10 years...
7. Planned my two friends separate parties next week.
8. Went for drink with teachers and such like. Yes it's just like the programme
9. Ate. Alot. Especially tunnocks tea cakes
10. Drank red wine. It's nector for the soul.
I'm going to have to work on being more exciting... While buying coloured pens really did excite me* I feel I owe this blog a better weekend than that!!!
*I am a tragic freak. Really.
Things on my desk...
Large pile of mail (all for other people - am thus playing postman v successfully - as we are on strike).
Annoying free pink mobile phone holder in the shape of a deck chair
Large pile of misc files filled with mysterious paper belonging to someone else who knew how to file
Tube of Vaseline (lip therapy - dirty minded bastard!)
Large pile of urgent things other people need to sign - I may shread these soon as they are messy
A little fat fairy from isobel
My to do list (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)
My computer - obviously
Things to take staples out of things (what are they called??)
A pen pot FILLED with pens as I am a cleptomaniac (hope that's the right word..) and a stationary junkie.
Reasons I love having a (new) job.
Meeting a whole new bunch of people who are potential friends Getting new free stuff like a computer and lots of (pink) stationary Getting to wear my best work clothes (even though my red, pink and orange stilettos are hurting like hell today… Said stilettos being worn with black trouser suit and pink top for the more fashionably discerning among you) Waking up when its dark and putting my makeup on in bed while watching dire morning TV Making my office my own little Daisy-World (I have bought pink roses and a vase already to sit in it) Getting to be the new and exciting person in the office for a while and having lots of people stopping by my desk to meet me. Finding a new little London sandwich shop down a secret London road (until now you really didn’t know this road existed and yet has thriving DIY shops and Newsagents and a pub, dry cleaners, hairdresser etc etc – there are literally HUNDREDS of these secret roads in London). Aiming to buy my toast and sandwiches from the exciting (often Italian run) shop to support local business and then accidentally going to Pret anyway for sushi and a chocolate croissant. Knowing that at the end of the week I can go and buy the beautiful white coat (no, not that kind of white coat) I’ve wanted for ages to wear in New York at New Year! Getting to plan my party on Saturday while looking busy and important (I have accidentally now got about 50 people coming as I keep asking people and they keep saying yes… my house is not THAT big… perhaps they won’t all turn up… anyway - I wish I didn’t have a cold). Going home to curl up on the sofa with mashed potato and toad in the hole with my flatmate – safe in the knowledge that I have actually earned it!!!
Things that make me feel better when I am sick
1) Heinz Tomato Soup
2) Sofa and duvet combined
3) Lemsip (orginal please)
4) A cuddle from Colin
5) Sounding like Mariella Frostrup
6) Looking so good - I get a real high colour when I am sick and so ironically always look very healthy (can be annoying in work type situations)
7) Watching Murder She Wrote without feeling that I am wasting my life
8) Getting better and suddenly feeling a million times better than you ever have before because you no longer take being well for granted (like the feeling the day after a bad hangover)
9) Eating a whole box of celebrations for breakfast and not feeling bad because you are keeping your strength up
10) My blanket.
Things I am NOT going to do this weekend
1. Get massively drunk on cheap wine in the Walkabout tonight
2. Whilest drunk snog a big strong antipodean-type
3. Take said antipodean home with me
4. Wake up with a terrible hangover and spend the morning wrapped around Mr Toilet
5. Smoke more cigarettes in one night than than I have fingers
6. Forget to buy my friend G a card for his birthday and buy champagne all round to make up for it on my fathers credit card
7. Tell one of my ex-boyfriends that I still love them - just to amuse myself with high drama (if the party goes stale and I get bored)
8. Cry all over my gay best friend during Breakfast at Tiffanys on Sunday for fear that I am going to die all alone dressed in my old wedding dress, surrounded by candles and covered in cobwebs...
9. Try out new makeup in the hope that I will look 18 again, but end up looking like a drag queen
10. Eat 2 x takeaways, 1 x pot noodle and something from the kebab shop.
HHHmmmmm - chances of achieving this? Slim to none - but - will let you know 
)
In my hand bag
1) Lipgloss
2) Credit Cards (too many)
3) Cigarettes (as ever - no lighter!)
4) Small diary - very full
5) Numerous business cards - some for jobs, some for pleasure - all fairly useless
6) Mobile phone (my baby)
7) Keys with battered pink dice keyring from Las Vegas
8) Hair bobble (brown)
9) Nail file
10) Face powder.
How on earth do men only have pockets?
D x x
Things I think I have learned about men....
- Boys always ask a question on a text or an email if they really want to talk to you. If they don’t ask – don’t talk
- If a guy hasn’t called within 3 days of meeting you, you are not on his mind enough, so if he calls after that– ignore him, he should have worked harder.
- Boys need to be managed carefully, as before you sleep with them they offer the world to you, and afterwards they do everything they can not to follow through
- If you REALLY like someone - don’t sleep with them, if you quite like them - do as you please, if you don’t like them – don’t get too drunk….
- It takes exactly half the time any relationship lasted to fully get over it
- Boys don’t start getting over a relationship for at least the first six months, they just go out, get drunk and celebrate their freedom
- Inevitably, months later, as soon as the boy realises what he has lost the girl has finally gotten over him and has moved on
- The boy should ALWAYS pay for dinner on the first date, but should allow the girl to make the gesture of paying for one drink
- A man should always hold any door open for a lady and ensure she passes safely though it or he's not worth a glance
- Men like a challenge